How to Help
Be an Active Listener
Give the speaker your undivided attention and carefully listen to what they’re saying. Depending on the individual, some people may feel more of a connection when you look at the speaker to show acknowledgement. Others may feel more comfortable if they look away while talking.
A head nod or even a simple “mhm” doesn’t necessarily show that you’re agreeing with the person, but it shows that you’re actively listening.
Sympathize, or even empathize with them if you understand what they're going through. Phrases like "I hear you" shows the speaker that you recognize the difficulties they're having.
Make sure your posture is open and interested to indicate that you are engaged and attentive as this also provides a more welcoming atmosphere to the speaker.
Normalizing Thoughts
When we are worried or pressured about a certain event, people tend to catastrophize their thoughts. Catastrophizing is thinking about the worst possible outcomes in a scenario and believing that something is far worse than it actually is.
Example:
A student worries that they will fail an important
upcoming exam.
The student jumps to the conclusion that they will
not be successful in life if they fail that exam.
However, there are many people who have failed
an exam before but eventually became
successful. There are also many types of exams
that offer several opportunities to take them.
When helping someone who is catastrophizing, allow them to clearly verbalize what they fear. When they bring their thoughts out of their head, either through speaking or writing, the fear becomes less scary and less believable.
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Another way to help normalize their thoughts is to use logical reasons and explanations to bring their ideas and impressions back to reality. The reasoning counteracts the irrational fear they have, which brings them out of their vision.
Reframing Thoughts
If you want to change something, whether it is how someone feels, what their thoughts are, or what they believe, the change always begins by looking at their thoughts and reframing how they see reality.
Reframing thoughts means turning the negative perspective on an event into a positive outlook. When a person changes the way they look at something, it also changes how they experience it.
Example:
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A friend of yours needs to give a presentation
next week. They feel really scared they might look
silly or ineffective about public speaking and
comes to you for some advice.
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“Think about this presentation as an opportunity
to challenge yourself. Everyone learns and
overcomes their obstacles at their own pace.
Think of this as a stepping stone to help you be
more comfortable with public speaking. As you
keep practicing, you'll be better at it no time!”
Use Positive Language
Refrain telling the person to “snap out of it,” “stop putting yourself down," or compare their circumstances to other people who are suffering greater hardship. Statements such as these confronts the sufferer about their illness.
Instead, be supportive and use positive language to encourage them. Help them remember the positive experiences they had and show that you care.
A few simple words such as “I care about you” or “I’m always here if you need me or want to talk” can go a long way. This is very helpful as it shifts the focus away from the bad event and helps them remember the positives.
Give the person you want to help an option they can take. For example, if you found a helpful book that may help them overcome their struggle, put it in a place where they are able to see and take a look at it.
By using an indirect approach and having them walk up to it, it shows that they want to take the initiative in wanting to change or improve themselves.
Insight's Therapeutic Board Game
Help yourself and others cope with stress better. This is a 2-4 player game where it allows individuals to open up their problems, whether big or small, and talk about it.
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Remembering and reflecting back on a situation they encountered, what actions they took, and how they felt can help not only themselves, but also help the people around them to better handle certain situations for stress management.
The game also helps remind what they have accomplished in their life and recalling the good times could help reframe their thoughts in a more positive light.
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Insight's Mobile App
It's not easy. It's hard talking about what someone is struggling through and they might end up keeping to themselves even when they are not doing well.
Insight's Mobile App allows a safe and
non-judgemental environment where individuals are able to open up about their struggles and problems with the new implemented buddy system.
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The app is customized based on the user's needs and Chum, the Slime, is here to help. Chum is an artificial intelligence personality that will respond based on how the user is feeling and will act as a buddy system to the individual when they need someone to console.
As it's intimidating to talk to a person about what they are going through, the buddy system may allow individuals to open up and receive help as it provides a safe and non-judgemental environment for them.
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